Today I bought myself a promise ring!
In my short 23 years on earth, I have actually managed to get 2 promise rings and now on number 3. 3rd times the charm right?
I got my first promise ring on the same day that 2 other girls got theirs. Just so happened, theirs was from my boyfriend too. I got my second promise ring and was sure that this was the promise that was going to be kept and fulfilled.
But I have learned that a promise doesn't always mean commitment, and it doesn't mean that the promise will always be fulfilled.
So today, I bought myself a promise ring, no a commitment ring. Not to look married. Not to simply replace the last ring that was on my finger. But I bought myself a promise ring to make a commitment to myself. I bought a promise ring to speak to and encourage me.
This is not just another cute ring. This is not just another piece of jewelry. This is a symbol of my undying love for myself. This is a symbol of the vow and commitment I am making to myself. I commit to loving myself. I commit to loving myself more than I desire being loved by someone else. I commit to not neglecting my needs and desires just to say I am loved or have love. I commit to investing in and building myself. I commit to invest in and build myself before investing into someone else. I commit to not being a damsel in distress. I commit to not thinking or acting like I need to be rescued. I commit to trusting me to love me. I commit to never settle for less than what I deserve in my eagerness and immense desire to be loved. I commit to never settle for less than what's meant for me and meant to make me happy. I commit to not lowering my standards just to say I'm loved. I commit to not compromising myself just for the sake of being loved. I commit to never lose myself in the quest for love. I commit to choosing myself. I commit to not being angry or bitter because I feel unloved. I commit to evicting the pain of rejection that has and can make me bitter. I commit to not feeling abandoned. I commit to not feeling unworthy. I commit to not feeling unwanted. I commit to not feeling inadequate. I commit to not feeling unlovable. I commit to not feeling neglected. I commit to not feeling broken. I commit to not breaking myself to be loved. I commit to not abandoning or neglecting myself to be loved. I commit to not treating myself like I'm unworthy or unlovable. I commit to finding value in myself. I commit to wanting myself. I commit to taking responsibility for my own happiness. I commit to not being drowned in sadness and depression because of a fear of never being love. I commit to stop being afraid that I'm going to be left out of experiencing real love. I commit to releasing the fear of being forever abandoned, neglected, and rejected. I commit to stop being afraid that God doesn't have love for me. I commit to stop fearing that God's not yet is a big fat NO, NOT EVER. I commit to stop fearing that it's not possible for me to genuinely be loved. I commit to stop fearing that I can't be the one in the family that does marriage successfully. I commit to stop fearing that I'll be just like all the women in my family, old, bitter, and alone. I commit to stop fearing that this quest for love is hopeless. I commit to stop fearing that this will be an area I fail in. I commit to stop fearing being alone. I commit to stop being angry with God because I feel He doesn't care or that He only want I commit to trusting God with my heart regardless of how hard it is. I commit to trusting that it's in His will for me to be loved. I commit to trusting He has better for me. I commit to not replace this ring on my hand unless it's the man God has for me. I COMMIT to ME.
-MelMil
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